This has been the story of my life, particularly since my mother died five years ago. After her death, I was able to see the full impact of my dad's narcissism as he started to direct the abuse he saved for my mom towards me. He first manipulated me by using me as a sounding board for his "sadness" over her death and then discarded me when he was done. The next phase was belittling comments, passive-aggressive texts, attempts to disparage my husband (who has no use for my father, hence my father's animosity towards him) and straight-up attacks. He would rope me back in by telling me how much he loved me, how proud he was of me, etc. and I would buy it every time. At 45, I'm finally realizing that his opinion of me will never change and I've stopped engaging. The guilt is never-ending, however. I haven't looked to see if you've written anything about guilt about disengaging, but I would be super interested in that. Thank you for this piece--it is very illuminating.